The top Thornton Beers of 2022 at Satire.
Love Satire beers? Of course, you do! Our beers are especially popular because they feature a variety of unexpected flavors and flavor combinations. That’s why we’re excited to highlight these exceptional brews, introduced in 2022. They’re among our most creative recipes.
Satire’s Top Thornton Beers of 2022
Cherry Christmas *Seltzer*
Tart cherry in a delightful Christmas tipple. It will make you want to ride the sleigh tonight. We wish you a Cherry Christmas! ABV 7%.
Naugh Tea Boy *Seltzer*
A lusty mix of tea and obscene flavors with cinnamon, apple, orange, and vanilla in a hard adult beverage. Tastes like the smell of Christmas. He is not nice so bring home a Naugh Tea Boy today! Indecent. ABV 7%.
Citrus Du Soleil (Citrus Olay) *Seltzer*
French lesson for the day. A circus of citrus with fresh lemon, orange, and grapefruit zest. Feel the warmth of the sun as you enjoy. ABV 7%.
Ryet to Remain Silent (Rye)
Strong bourbon barrel-aged rye ale. Robust bourbon and oak flavor. Remember you have the right to remain silent, this beer can lead to self-incrimination. ABV 9.6%.
Pump A Lot
Not a “wow” pumpkin beer but an easy-to-drink, knock a few back, pumpkin beer with real pumpkin and light spice. Whether you pump a lot of weights, ass, breast milk, or whatever, cheers! ABV 5%.
Three Wives Peach Cream Ale
Made with juicy Palisade peaches. One year we used peaches from Utah and the name stuck. Soft peach flavor. ABV 5.24%.
A Belgian blackberry ale that drew us into adding more berries after a taste test, so we named the beer Drew Berrymore. Coincidentally named after an actor who achieved fame in ET, The Extra Testicle, an adult movie about a guy born with a rare enhancement. Trivial pursuit question. The movie was originally going to be titled, Born Three, Three Willie, Three Musketeers, or Three’s Company? Based on a true story. ABV 6.3%.
Cherry On Rum Barrel
Our cherry Belgian ale aged in a Barbados rum barrel. Notes of vanilla, oak, cherry and rum. Special release for George Washington’s birthday. The story is George couldn’t lie about chopping down the cherry tree because he had to tell the truth. Well, the truth is that the story isn’t true. It was made up by a writer to sell more books. Lying about a story with a moral of truth. Hmmm…ABV 9.86%.
Rhum Raspberry Racoon
Our much sought-after Raspberry Racoon ale aged in a Martinique Island rhum barrel. Rush of tart raspberries with a prevailing sugar cane rhum and oak finale. Eloquent and delectable. Can you say daiquiri in a beer? “Ya mon!”. ABV 8.5%.
Belgian blueberry golden ale. Classic Belgian taste with a light tart blueberry flavor. Feeling down? Guaranteed to take your blues away! *Minimum two glasses for this claim to be accurate. ABV 5.7%.
A gentle barley wine made lighter than our big barley wine, Old Scrotum that is aged in a barrel, so it is just Soft Scrotum. Forged with a variety of earthy, woody, and floral English hops and a nice biscuit flavor. No real scrotum involved…this batch. ABV 9.17%.
Creamy sweet porter with tastes of coffee, chocolate, and vanilla. Oh, baby, I love your Sweet Cheeks. Bottoms up! 4%
We look forward to welcoming you this year at Satire. Try these delicious brews introduced in 2022 but remember we’re always changing things up. Ask your server for our current list of beers on tap. Don’t forget we’re still serving up delicious squirrel food. Our Thornton brewery menu features light and tasty appetizers plus locally sourced sausages and meats.